Peter Stiehler

Dear Friends,

Thirty years ago this week, if you’re reading this letter the first week of June, Kate and I met with Larry Purcell and Jan Johanson of the Redwood City Catholic Worker to discuss the possibility of their assisting us with starting a new Catholic Worker house in San Mateo County.

A month or so beforehand, Kate had been in the office of the Los Angeles Catholic Worker, where we were both living, looking through a basket filled with newsletters from various Catholic Worker houses. In perusing the letters, she read a recent letter from the Redwood City Catholic Worker in which they spoke of having raised money to help a young couple start their own Catholic Worker house. They said they had the money, but we’re just looking for the right people to start the work.

This caught Kate’s attention. While we were both members of the Los Angeles Catholic Worker community and wanted to stay as Catholic Workers, we were interested in starting our own house. Kate and I were about to get married and were eager to have children. In her wisdom, Kate realized that it is much easier to raise children in a Catholic Worker House when it’s your house and you can set the parameters of work in a way that enables a sane and healthy family life.

So, a few weeks later, while on our honeymoon in the Bay Area, we met with Larry and Jan to discuss what they had in mind and to see if that would mesh with what we wanted to do. We were not ten minutes into the conversation when Jan said to Larry, “Here are the people we’ve been waiting for.” Kate and I, understandably, we’re a bit startled.

What they offered us was extravagant in its generosity and trust. They would loan us money to purchase a house from which to operate a Catholic Worker (said loan would be forgiven if we stayed at the work for five years), would introduce us to people who could be helpful to us in starting our work, would allow us use of their mailing list for our first mailing, and they would be a loving supporting presence to us. All they asked is that we do the work in San Mateo County as that was where they had raised the money. How could we say no to that? We didn’t. We quickly said yes and started to work on the details of when we would move up.

In late November 1995 we left the Los Angeles Catholic Worker, moved into a garage apartment the Redwood City Catholic Worker provided for us, searched for and found a house in San Bruno, and in February of 1996 moved into the house on 2nd Ave. Twenty-nine years later, the work of Catholic Worker Hospitality House is still going strong, although be it with ups and downs and changes over the years.

Larry and Jan took a huge leap of faith in us and we took a leap of faith that the community would support this work. Kate went on to other work, working in the law and policy, helping those in need, but still remaining supportive and involved, and I have continued to put in a lot of work over the years in keeping it going, but it has been through the faithful generosity of hundreds of people in our community and throughout the country who provided emotional, financial, and material support to our work of feeding, sheltering, and housing those in need, to keep it going.

We realize the importance of our commitment which has provided stability and continuity to the work, but without your partnership we would not have been able to continue our basic work, much less expand into the various housing projects we operate today. As always, we give a heartfelt thanks to your past generosity and hope that you will continue helping us serve those in need.

In Christ’s Peace,

Peter Stiehler
For all of us at
Catholic Worker
Hospitality House

Dear Friends,

A couple of months ago at Sunday mass the priest recommended reading the papal bull of indiction, Spes Non Confundit (Hope Doesn’t Disappoint), which announces the start of the Jubilee year. Now, while I’m a fairly active Catholic, I’m not one who generally reads papal letters, but I thought I would give this one a shot. While my expectation was low, I was intrigued because it was about the Year of Jubilee, which in ancient Israel was about the forgiveness of debt and the return of sold land to the original clan owners. In the church today, it’s about forgiveness, reconciliation, and spiritual renewal.

What initially caught my attention was the name of the papal letter, “Hope Doesn’t Disappoint.” “Hope,” or the lack of it, is a very timely topic. In this country there is such a sense of hopelessness. For some it’s related to the latest election with the economic and political chaos that’s being promulgated by the new administration. For others it’s related to the environmental crisis brought on by climate change which is leading to increased natural disasters around the world. A related effect of this environmental crisis is the steep rise in insurance policies. Last month I received a car insurance bill which had doubled and a home insurance bill which had tripled from the previous year. For still others it’s the sense of hopelessness around finding affordable housing or work that would enable them to support themselves and their families. We all know there are many other sources of despair facing us, but I am writing a newsletter and not a tome. But I believe we can all see that clearly hope is a very timely topic.

As I read the papal letter, I came upon a section titled “Signs of Hope.” All of the signs were works of mercy: visiting the imprisoned, caring for the sick and elderly, welcoming the immigrant, caring for the poor, etc. It got me thinking, why are the Works of Mercy so intertwined with hope? When we assist someone, it fills them with hope; assisting others fills us with hope; and when someone else sees us assist another it fills them with hope. I think of a commercial from a few years back in which one act of kindness inspires another person to do an act of kindness which inspires another person to do an act of kindness and so on and so on.

When we perform, receive or observe a work of mercy it fills us with hope for a better world both now and in the future. Or to put it in theological language, works of mercy enflesh the Kingdom of God here and now. I can only imagine that you readers must get tired of hearing in these letters about the Works of Mercy; it seems like I focus on them in every other letter. I realize I sound like a stuck record, but I just feel they are so central to enfleshing our faith and to making communities of love. That is why at Catholic Worker Hospitality House, and at all Catholic Worker Houses, we build our work around the daily practice of the Works of Mercy. By feeding the hungry we are able to live out our faith; by sheltering the homeless we make our communities a better place; and by visiting the sick or imprisoned we bring hope to those who are hopeless…and to ourselves.

We live in a time of great hopelessness. It’s hard to look at the news and not feel that we are living through an apocalypse, the end of times. Governmental collapse, genocide, environmental disasters and the spread of diseases that feel like Biblical Plagues. It is more and more difficult not to let hopelessness enter our hearts and to resign ourselves to the end. But to give over our hearts to hopelessness and despair would be awfully convenient for the people in the halls of power. The leaders and businesses who wish to profit from war, profit by pillaging the environment, and profit by price gouging the ordinary person do not want us to feel hope and they do not want us to strengthen our communities with love.

So, if you are dissatisfied with the state of the world, we encourage you in your daily life to practice the Works of Mercy whenever you have the opportunity. By doing so you will start the process of making your community stronger and you will bring hope and love not only to those you assist, but also into your own heart.

As always, we thank all of you who make our work at Catholic Worker Hospitality House possible either by your donations of money or food, or by volunteering with us, or by keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. We thank you for all your past support and hope that you will continue your generous support which keeps us going.
In Christ’s Peace,

Peter Stiehler
Director
Catholic Worker Hospitality House

 

FIRST THEY CAME
They came first for the communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a communist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Catholic.
Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Written in 1946 by Martin Niemoeller, a Lutheran Pastor, shortly after he was liberated from a Nazi concentration camp where he had been imprisoned for eight years for opposing Nazi control of Protestant churches.

Dear Friends,

As I sit writing this letter, it is mid-January and at Catholic Worker Hospitality House (CWHH) we are settling back into our usual work routine after a lovely, if hectic, holiday season. I’m thinking about all the generous support we received from before Thanksgiving through New Year’s from you, our faithful donors, that enable us to continue our work with those in need in our community. I think especially of our Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners when so many of you brought prepared food – mashed potatoes, stuffing, ham or turkey, pies and cookies – that enabled us to host bountiful feasts for over 150 people each time.

These dinners are such enjoyable events partially because I get to see so many friends who have supported us faithfully for years. It’s a joy to see them and experience the goodwill they project. The same can be said for the guests coming to partake in the meal. Some are the folks we see every day, while others are former regulars who now only come “home” on our holiday events. Either way, they too bring a sense of joy that makes the day special. These meals epitomize a hidden benefit of our work at Catholic Worker Hospitality House: that we are surrounded by so much joy in our work.

But people often don’t realize this aspect of our work. Over the years when I tell folks what I do, I often hear, “It must be so hard doing your work, I could never be around so much brokenness and sadness. The people you serve, aren’t they scary and difficult to be around?” True, it can be difficult to see someone distraught over being without a place to stay for the first time or in the depths of addiction and not willing to make needed changes. And, yes, some people can be difficult, but all work has its difficulties and difficult people.

But the sadness and the difficulties are a minor part of our work. At night when I do an examination of the events of my day, I am regularly amazed by how much goodness, kindness, and generosity I have encountered. Whether being warmly greeted by guests and staff when I arrive at the dining room early in the morning or seeing a volunteer interacting lovingly with a guest at the dining room or a donor chatting with me for twenty minutes after delivering a tray of pasta or the laughter I hear from the backyard of our Second Ave boarding house; there is just so much joy. I know none of us are always good or full of joy and goodness, but when we’re around Catholic Worker Hospitality House we all are trying to be the best versions of ourselves. I have to admit it’s quite nice being surrounded by love in the guise of kindness and generosity.

Ideally this spirit of love begins with the staff of CWHH. If we’re doing our job properly, we’re setting the tone of kindness, acceptance, and joy. Then, it is amplified by our volunteers and donors. Finally, our guests hopefully respond by being kind and joyful as well, which inspires us to respond in kind which perpetuates a self-reinforcing loop of goodness. Goodness is infectious.

Now I’m not as naïve and pollyannaish as I sound in the above paragraphs. I know there is a lot of meanness in the world. There are people who are selfish, greedy, dishonest, and full of bad intentions. All one needs to do is read the paper or watch the news on a daily basis and you’ll be inundated with such activity. I also know there are people living with untreated trauma and/or addiction that makes their lives and the people around them miserable. I often think of the line from the poem Desiderata: “Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere the world is full of heroism.” I also think of a common refrain from Alcoholics Anonymous meetings when considering a person’s story of addiction and recovery: “look for the similarities, not the differences.” I read that as “look for the good, not the bad.” At CWHH we have chosen to focus on the good, not the bad. We try to make the good the focus of our life. And you know what? By trying to be good and loving we find ourselves being surrounded by love on a daily basis; it’s really nice being around folks who are trying to be the best versions of themselves.

 

In Christ’s Peace,

Peter Stiehler
For all of us at
Catholic Worker Hospitality House

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

In the above letter I wrote about how I’m surrounded by people trying to be their best by serving those in need in our community. Sadly, this attitude of self-sacrificing love isn’t as prevalent as we would hope. Our country seems to be entering a period in which supposedly devout Christians, both Catholic and evangelical, are pushing for extreme actions against immigrants, those with different worldviews, and the weak and vulnerable. It is really sad seeing folks who espouse a faith based on selfless love acting in such unloving ways. Then there are the super- wealthy who are using the power of their great wealth to benefit themselves at the expense of the rest of society by working to lower their own taxes and rolling back environmental, work place, and healthcare regulatory safeguards. The selfishness is astounding.

I recently came across the following quote by Aldous Huxley: “It’s a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than “try to be a little kinder.” I love it. I may be reading too much into this quote, but I think “kind” includes being loving, compassionate, self-sacrificing, and being concerned with the needs of the other. May we all strive to be a little kinder in the coming days, months, and years when, I fear, kindness will lacking in the highest halls of power.

Finally, as these folks claim to be doing the will of God, I thought I would offer a few passages from scripture which offer a counter perspective.

 

When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The
foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as
yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.
Leviticus 19:33-34

God defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner
residing among you, giving them food and clothing. And you are to love those who
are foreigners, for you yourselves were foreigners in Egypt.

Deuteronomy 10:18-19

Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.
Proverbs 30:8b

In Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith…There is neither Jew nor
Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in
Christ Jesus.
Galatians 3: 26-28

If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will
have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me. Truly I tell you, it is hard for
someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 19:21, 23

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you
will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and
money.
Matthew 6:24

Dear Friends,

At this time, there is so much one could write about the state of the world and the country in which we now live. We thought about sending around again a newsletter we wrote in December 2016; many are feeling the same fear. But after so many years, it’s clear that the world in which we find ourselves is not about one person, or one electorate, or one country.

This year, we have seen neighbors go to a city council meeting and say horrible things about unhoused people because of our county’s attempt to turn an old hotel into affordable housing for unhoused people. The citizens of this town recalled two city council members who voted to approve this housing. We have also witnessed our governor and local officials argue to the Supreme Court (and win) that cities should be allowed to arrest people for the crime of….not having housing. Currently, there are people in jails across the country who are incarcerated for “illegal camping,” for the crime of being homeless.

Thus, this lack of compassion towards others is seen throughout the body politic.

I have long thought that people and their political leaders despise homeless people, or at least despise seeing unhoused people, because attheir core, they are afraid. I used to think this was so because they were afraid of unhoused people themselves; they confused the way people appear with “dangerousness.” This is amplified by the media. There have been years of segments on news channels about San Francisco, for example, as an incredibly dangerous city. However, the images that were shown for shock value were of people forced to live on the street, or of tents on the street, or of human waste and debris on the street. Similarly, there was a candidate for office in Los Angeles who ran on a “tough on crime” platform and the images in his campaign ads when he spoke of crime were of…tents and shanties on sidewalks and under freeway overpasses. In other words, there was a conscious and cynical conflating of people living in extreme poverty with criminality.  I believed this was what led to the fear of people who were unhoused.

And while this may be so, I believe the fear we have about seeing homeless people runs much deeper than this. I believe that many of us are afraid to feel truly, deeply, compassionately sad. It is painful to be sad. It enters into our hearts and bodies in a way that can make us feel powerless. To avoid feeling sad, we cover it up with anger. This can be directed at the unhoused individuals, or at leaders who “refuse to clean this up.” In order to not feel sad, we ask ourselves: Why should I have to see this as I walk down the street? Why should the good citizens of [name the town] have to see this? As we direct anger at poor people, we argue that people are unhoused because they are bad – they use substances, they didn’t work hard enough, they left school, they are ill and refuse what is offered as treatment. And, for the sake of argument, what if this were all true? Would that mean that this person is not suffering and deserves to live without shelter and dignity? Of course not.

The Christmas story itself, a story that our culture wants to sanitize, has some hard truths about fear, misdirected anger, and terrible suffering. A story of a traumatic birth is followed by the story of refugees who are forced to flee to another country. The ones who stay have their children slain by a leader who fears a threat to his power. These stories still ring absolutely true today. We daily witness the Slaughter of the Innocents, the bombs and bullets killing children, ordered by leaders who are afraid of, and therefore despise, a populace. We see refugees fleeing violence and desperate poverty being vilified in this country. We are told they will be rounded up and deported.

If we were to be unafraid to feel sad, we might then learn that sadness – devoid of anger, of guilt, of shame – is an aspect of love. I learned this from a dear friend who lost her child some years ago. Her young daughter took her own life. This is, I hope for most of us, an unimaginable loss. My friend recently shared with me that she will always be sad. However, she has learned – with the help of others and through deep spiritual work—that she can rid herself of the anger, guilt, and shame that she has also carried. My friend told me that it was these emotions, not the sadness, that have almost destroyed her. Surprising to her, the sadness itself was bearable. And, that sadness existed because she loved her daughter so much; her sadness was a manifestation of that love.

Similarly, if we were to allow ourselves to truly feel sad, we might sense beneath our own sadness a compassionate love. In the months and years ahead, we are going to continue to see people acting out of fear of others. The cruelty towards others will worsen. Instead of joining in this fear, I hope for all of us that we allow ourselves to feel our own sadness, let it be the soil where compassion for those in need can take root, and let that compassion guide our actions.

 

Wishing you all love and grace,

Kate Chatfield
For all of us at Catholic Worker Hospitality House

SEPTEMBER 2024

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
— 1 Cor. 13:1-3

Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption. All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice.
And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ. So be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love as Christ loved us.
— Ephesians 4:30 – 5:2

 

Dear Friends,

It is typical in these letters for us to put our best foot forward, projecting an image of being nice people who are always kind and loving, especially to the less fortunate we are lucky enough to serve. While that is generally true, there are times we fall short of this image. The hardest thing about our work is being consistently kind and loving. Being consistent in anything can be difficult, but being consistently kind and loving is really hard, even to those nearest and dearest to you. As the above quote from First Corinthians states, if we don’t do our work with love then all the good works we do is for naught.

At Catholic Worker Hospitality House, we set high ideals for ourselves. We not only want to serve nice meals and provide dignified housing for our guests; we also want to treat them in a way that comforts their soul. We want all we come in contact with to feel welcomed, accepted, and loved. It’s hard to do that if you’re barking at them.

Every morning, I start my day with prayer and meditation. Part of my daily prayer is, “Dear God, help me to be kind and loving to your people; may I comfort your people today.” Yet all too often within ten minutes of arriving at the dining room I’m snapping at someone. So much for high ideals. It’s so easy to be kind and loving when I’m in my prayer space, it’s another thing when I’m at the dining room being bombarded with requests by multiple people. There is a great quote from Fyodor Dostoyevsky that was beloved by Dorothy Day: “Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams.” I can attest that it’s true.

What causes this occasional bad behavior? Sometimes we’re as busy as can be and that next request pushes us over the limit of our patience; other times we’re troubled with personal issues unrelated to our work; sometimes it’s jerky behavior by the person we’re dealing with; and sometimes we’re short-tempered from being just plain tired.

Whatever the reason, we realize our unkind behavior is not acceptable and we try to find ways to be our best. One remedy is to get plenty of rest, whether that’s getting plenty of sleep, regular vacations (which we are not afraid of) or not over scheduling ourselves. I have found that I’m most likely to be unkind at the end of the serving day, particularly if I’m trying to hurry off to another activity. In theory I know it’s best to slow down, be present, and try not to be a control freak (“How many times do I have to tell you not to do…”, “Get out of the shower now! You’ve been in there for 30 minutes!”), but it’s hard to put that theory into practice. I used to think I was an easy-going guy until I had children and got a job with a bit of authority. Suddenly all my fascistic tendencies emerged. One former guest regularly called me Benito, as in Mussolini. Ouch! I have also found that it is very helpful to do an examination of conscience at the end of the day to see where I was loving and where I could have been more so, with the hope that I will be better tomorrow. And as I mentioned earlier, starting my day with prayer helps to get me in a proper mindset.

Whenever we do fall short of being kind and loving we try to step back, calm down, ask for forgiveness, and keep on trying. It’s easy to beat-up on ourselves when we aren’t loving. But we need to keep on trying, remembering that we seek progress and not perfection. I think we’re a little nicer today than we were yesterday. We’re less likely now to be unloving to a guest, and when unkind, more likely to apologize promptly.
Despite the challenges we face at being consistently kind and loving, all of us at Catholic Worker Hospitality House enjoy the work we are doing, and usually really love it. Most of the time we are loving and giving to those we encounter in our work. In times of gratitude, we realize our work gives us the opportunity to help people in need and usually surrounds us with people who are trying to be the best versions of themselves. What a blessing; what a gift to live one’s life this way. So, whether you’re a guest, volunteer, or dropping off a donation and we’re less than loving know that we are sorry for our actions and that are trying to be more loving.

 

In Christ’s Peace (hopefully),

Peter Stiehler
Director
Catholic Worker
Hospitality House